…well, sorta. one plus one equals three seems to have been around since november of last year, but silently so. holds promise—focuses more on online-centric design than do speak up or design observer.
oh, come on, it’s not like i’m the only person making fun of gwyneth paltrow’s amazing lack of taste in names. i can’t help but wonder, like, is this some advanced form of tough love? teach the little anklebiter some hard knocks before she’s even teething?
apple’s got two scenarios in store for her. herewith:
1) she will receive a royal ass-kicking every day at school until she dies. the end.
2) she will require daily armed escort to protect her against bullies who would royally kick her ass, thereby preventing her from learning any coping skills whatsoever and dooming her to a life of trying to out-do the hilton sluts. i mean sisters. you know. whatever. she’ll be a mess, is what i’m trying to say.
whaddaya get when you compare this posting about some lame bridge and tunnel friday night event at plaid with the galleries from crobar chicago? proof that chicago really is just like new jersey!
i haven’t blogged the boy in ages, so here goes: jason salavon has a new show coming up soon. if you haven’t seen his work yet, spend some time. sexy, smart work with a purely modern obsession with numbers. and in an IM session with the editor of fleshbot this morning, we decided that jason himself is the hottest thing on legs until our next obsession surfaces (which will more than likely rear its head on modelizer sometime later today). and really, there’s no reason bothering with art from an unphotogenic artist, you know what i mean? bad TVQ means limited opportunity.
okay, sorry, jason. you’re totally hot and everything but i found my next obsession. but you’ll still tell people nice things about me right? cool.
so the newest obsession is upon me and it’s, like, not a boy or shoes or makeup. shocker. it’s a Pantone to RGB conversion chart and i swear i had like six orgasms when i saw it and that’s really pathetic. nevertheless, i now know that Pretty’s corporate color—Pantone 7420 (which i call “ring-around-the-cock red”)—translates to #A02941. and that’s a great thing to know.
is everyone else reading awful plastic surgery as closely as i am? god, this is the best cultural schadenfreude i’ve seen in years.
there are very few electro-based artists out there who can give their work the humanity needed to create perfect pop. ellen allien’s one of them. almost saw her last week at the double door, but apparently someone’s being a total cunt about who gets in and out of the country these days. hmpf.
is your cat too motherfucking special to live in a cardboard box and play with some ghetto rubber mouse from petsmart like the kitties in the projects do? damn right. head on over to postmodern pets and drop three hundred bucks on some corrugated cardboard like the loving capitalist tool you know you are.
wired. neat. i haven’t had work in the maazine for something like a year now. but why is the author focusing on the size of nick’s melon? is this, like, a literary device or..? oh, never mind. i’d rather look at ana marie being a drunk floozy anyway.
okay, small request. teensy. everyone who’s bleating about how awful the day after tomorrow is, please just shut up. i like shitty, overbudgeted films. i personally want to see the piece of crap, and i don’t expect it to be worth any more than the nine bucks i’ll pay. y’know why? it’s an event movie, you dumbfucks.
event movies have never been about art, they’re about going to a theatre and looking to see how much money can be been vomited onto a screen, then trying to figure out whose career’s gonna go through the roof, who gets the limited edition action figure, who gets the happy meal toy, who gets outed in a nasty character assasination piece in the enquirer, blah blah blah. this isn’t about making movies, this a uniquely american form of public theatre in which everyone plays their part in an enormous marketing campaign, they do exactly as they’re told to accomplish the pre-sold ending, they get rich, and we get a neat poster. fucking christ. you’d think after how many event pictures, all of them receiving terrible reviews, you guys would get it by now. and newsflash: this particular drama is about jake gyllenhaal grabbing a piece of mainstream cinema pie before he moves on to something more artful, in case nobody’s figured that out by now.
one plus one equals three celebrates the invention of moveable type in 1456 1041 by Johann Gutenberg Pi Sheng.
